The Ug Men are a prehistoric race of Humanoids, famous for their stupidity.


The Ug Men clash with the Covenant of Man


The Ug Men are a race of green skinned savages, who generally live in mountain caves or small settlements in foothills. Ug Men suffer from extremely low IQs and struggle to make rational decisions; making them generally attack on sight, anything that doesn't belong to their tribe.


The Ug Men believe that The Great Ug Lord created their bodies in one afternoon, but got bored after that and left them in the caves they were created in with hardly a mind at all. Ten of the original 30 Ug Men were killed straight away by the others. Soon after, vast inbreeding occurred and the population exploded feeding on cave mushrooms.

As the population expanded into the connecting caves tribes began to emerge and started to fight over the rapidly dwindling mushroom reserves (their favourite food). The Ug Lord decided to check up on his forgotten creation, realising they would wipe themselves out he gave a single tribe enough intelligence to leave the caves and explore.

The tribe left the caves and wandered onto foothills, they discovered the Purple Flowers, which the tribe leader (influenced by the Ug Lord) had rationed to ensure they survived. The tribe lived relatively peacefully by Ug Man standards. There were fights on a regular basis over food rations and lack of space. As the tribe expanded, groups left to explore the world and formed their own tribes. Further tribal warfare ensued, but The Ug Men lived on, continuing to spread across the world surviving on the principle of rationing their only known food source.


The Ug Men, having poor armour and low IQs use horde tactics to ensure victory since on their own they are generally useless.

Tribal AgeEdit

Tribal Ug Men hordes use basic weaponry:

  • Warriors are armed with spiked clubs
    • Elite warriors use stone axes and small wooden shields
  • Throwers carry bags of sharp rocks
  • Pyros use flaming sticks
  • The Mage use their magic abilities to manipulate the earth generally using it to create spikes that rise up under their enemies feet, ripping them apart

Iron AgeEdit

Some Ug Men tribes have advanced to be able to use iron weapons and armor:

  • Warriors have iron swords
    • Elite warriors are armed iron axes and shields
  • Throwers use iron tipped javelins
  • Pyros are equipped with basic flame-throwers, they must be pumped to build up suitable pressure to spay flaming oil on their enemies

All Iron Age units have iron chainmail armor, mages however don't use armour as it would restrict the magic energy from their heart.

Elite UnitsEdit

Elite Warriors of both Tribal and Iron Ages are created when a head is sacrificed to the Ug Lord at the magic circle.

Elite mages are experienced mages who have become one with the earth that they manipulate. Elite Mages are composed of earth and can make their limbs expand and stretch making the Mage a towering giant with a tiny body by comparison. The mage can regenerate its limbs as well morph them into spikes and other shapes.


The Ug Men have been gifted with the ability to control certain Pterodactyl and Raptor species by the Ug Lord. These have become some of the hoards' most effective weapons when coupled with Ug Men troops.


The Ug Men believe in The Great Ug Lord and the story of their creation. The Ug Men dance and chant around magic circles as well giving sacrifices of heads and bodies.

Ug Men may also create statues to the 1st Iron Warrior who died bravely in battle against the Evil Skeleton Army. After his corpse was removed by a Pterodactyl rumours and stories spread across the world and soon was made The God of War. By praying to the statue Ug Men may receive extra units from nearby regions.


With inbreeding being a massive problem in Ug Men Tribes, de-evolution has changed the Ug Mens' appearance significantly. Before and during the First Skeleton War Ug Men were capable of standing up straight and had slightly more intelligence than the current generation of Ug Men.


  • All Ug Men are devout vegetarians
  • All Ug Men have an undying hatred of all skeletons and undead
  • The Ug Men who remained in the caves all died once mushroom and toadstool reserves were depleted. Those who escaped the caves still search for mushrooms and toadstools to this day.
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